Negative Effect #2: You Unintentionally Replicate Dysfunctional Childhood Relationships As a result, you’re unable to understand or appreciate the meaning behind what you do, or to gain any real satisfaction once you get the things you’ve been chasing. This leads you to accumulate other people’s values and pursue things that you think will make you happy without considering if these values align with your own. Since other people are nicer to you when you make them happy, you unconsciously conclude that your happiness depends on pleasing them. However, childhood conditioning influences you to adopt values that conform to other people’s expectations to make them happy. Your values are core beliefs that you choose to live by-they determine who you want to be and how you treat yourself and others. He argues that the degree to which you live in alignment with your values determines how satisfying your life experiences feel to you.Īccording to Shetty, who you really are and what you need to be happy can be summed up by your values. Jay Shetty ( Think Like a Monk) expands on how childhood conditioning prevents you from recognizing and fulfilling your needs. Feel happier, healthier, and more in control of your lifeĪdditionally, we’ll expand upon each of LePera’s ideas with research, advice, and actionable ideas from psychologists and self-improvement practitioners.Develop positive patterns that improve your well-being.Become more conscious of how childhood conditioning impacts your mental and physical health.Understand the root cause of your self-sabotaging patterns.This guide discusses LePera’s advice for overcoming self-sabotaging patterns. Therefore, the key to overcoming unwanted patterns lies in addressing these traumas. According to her, such patterns stem from unresolved childhood traumatic experiences.
In How to Do the Work, holistic psychologist and bestselling author Nicole LePera argues that you can live a healthier, happier life by taking control of your self-destructive patterns.
Despite their efforts to change, they end up reverting to their unwanted behaviors and feel powerless to adopt healthier patterns. Many people engage in self-sabotaging patterns that prevent them from being happy.
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